Sunday, December 28, 2008

Auntie Chanel's Wedding

Jared's sister Chanel got married December 27th in the L.A. temple. The whole Frost Family was there and our kids were part of the wedding party. It was beautiful and a lot of fun to be together. Here are some of the highlights!

Madelyn and her cousin Layne from Colorado. Those girls love each other!

Jared, Holly, Madelyn, Carson, Skyler, and a happy Rylie at the temple.

All the kids in their wedding attire.

The bride and groom and newly Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Bennett.

Madelyn dancing with her new uncle, Nathan.

Christmas: Round Two!

Rylie fell asleep after church in her Christmas Dress. We thought this pic was cute cuz every time Jared went to take off her sweater she smiled huge.

Here are pictures of Christmas at my mom's house in Cali. The kids had a blast and Santa even found us there.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas: round one!

This morning we opened our Christmas presents at our house. Tomorrow after church we are going to California to spend Christmas day there and didn't want to lug any extra stuff. Needless to say the kids weren't complaining at all. We typically like to stay home for Christmas day and go to Cali afterwards, but Jared's sister is getting married the 27th so we are going for that anyways.

Bedtime Books and Slippers

Recently we went to a school activity called Bedtime Books and Slippers. We all wore our jammies, ate treats, and watched a local author sing and do a little show. Below are pics of the kids, and also a pic of the teachers in a rap skit.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Sooo interesting...

Anyone who is home today should watch Oprah. It is about OCD and the crazy therapy I eventually should do. The problem is that the only doctor my psychiatrist knows of that performs "exposure therapy" recently died. Very interesting stuff!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Upon further reflection...

Scratch my idea of becoming rich. I am petitioning my mom and one or both of my younger sisters to buy a house nearby (the buyer's market is awesome right now!) and take my babies one day a week, thus freeing more time for 1 intense day of crazy and 6 less frenzied days. It would be great! The grandkids could have sleep overs, while I could power work and sprinkle in a little "me" time. And there is no telling the wonders it could do for Jared and I! Maybe i will sweeten the deal and throw in another grandkid so everyone wins! I can't see any losers here...I just know that the happiest and most relaxed i feel is when they are around cuz they truly get me, adore my kids, and lighten my load. I guess i will come back to reality now....

My own worst enemy

I sat awake in my bed a long time last night and couldn't quiet my mind. I've had OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) since I can remember. I've only been diagnosed and on meds
for about 6 years, but was always uptight and "organized" as a kid. Lately I feel like it's eating me alive! I can't distinguish where Holly starts and OCD ends. I'm on high doses of medication for it (update: the meds WERE what caused me to gain weight. People gain a lot of weight on doses that were only 1/10 of what i was taking. Recently my doctor switched my meds, so fingers crossed that it works. This weight drama has been so long that it seems impossible that i will ever lose it again. still dieting and exercising though...) Anyways...I kind of had a break down last night and definitely feel like I'm suffocating. The older I get and busier life gets, my OCD gets worse. The meds definitely help take the edge off of my anxiety, but lately i feel alone and a little crazy. My mind is tired, my heart is tired, and my body is tired. And I'm only 30!!! I just don't know how else to be. OCD is a huge part of who I am: my decorations are up perfectly, my house is constantly spotless, my kids are well behaved and never dirty, laundry and bath schedules are never derailed, and I always have at least 3 lists that I am a slave to constantly. Exhausted yet?! If i don't live this way I am depressed and feel useless and worthless. It effects everything! I don't have friends...What I mean by that is life passes me by.
I don't hang out or do anything fun. It just takes my productive time away (after this post i realize that i sound like a downer anyways...not high on the list of friend must-haves). Sleep is almost non-existent, maybe 5 hours on a good night. I'm a grouchy ,on edge mom that lives with the guilt of stealing fun and spontaneous moments away from my kids. Luckily Jared is a saint (mostly) and we have a happy marriage, but i know the crazier i get the harder it is on him. I just know that some day when I'm gone all my anal diligence won't matter, but will amount to a huge amount of wasted my funeral: "Wow our mom was the best! Never were our fingernails left long and jagged. She had it all together!"...Not happening...It even effects my church attendance because I go non-stop for 6 days without much sleep and then by Sunday my body is maxed out and i get sick. Basically I'm a hot mess :). I know i need to lean on the lord more, but beyond that, I'm really stuck. Then i feel bad burdening all my peeps out there with many of these intense blogs, but that's how i roll. The negative and incessant worrying comes withe territory of OCD. Sometimes i think i just need to get rich like Madonna so i can pay people to worry and focus solely on enjoying my life and family. One can dream!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Yet another much needed update!!!

I know I suck. It's been a long time. I have too many kids and too little time. A lot has happened...we decorated our Christmas tree, had an excellent Thanksgiving feast, and took an unexpected trip to Cali. My grandma passed away and we had to make the quick trip to southern California. She is the first close relative I have had pass away. It was a little sad, but also faith-building.

We decided to extend out trip and spend a day at Disneyland with the three older kids. We had a ton of fun, but missed Rylie. (Grandma watched her.)

Here are some pix to enjoy. I will try to be better at updating.

This is the kids decorating the Christmas tree for Family Home Evening, a family favorite!

Our Thanksgiving table...I felt sassy and got out our fine china and goblets (only 2 sets). We also made corn cob poppers and turkey tea lights. So fun!

Some of our yummy food spread.

One of the turkey tealights...adorable!

Post holiday trip to Disneyland. This is the kids by the new Toy Story ride.

Madelyn and Carson shooting up the ride.

Madelyn, Carson, and Skyler after a long and successful Disneyland day! It's great to be a kid!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Halloween 2008

Drumroll.....Here is the kids Halloween costumes for this year. Special thanks to Aunt Bethie and my good old friend the internet :) !!!

Rylie the dare devil!

Here's a few pix from a couple weeks ago back at Makutu's. Our Rylie is so brave!!!

Decision 2008

I don't want to be obnoxious with my political agenda, but, whatever. It's my blog. I can be. :)

For people who are concerned about conservative political values, go out and vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin on November 4th.

If you have any doubts about choosing who to vote for, this video will convince you.

Monday, September 29, 2008

On a personal note.....

For a while I have been struggling and depressed and even debated not posting this, but I figure any input or perspective can only help. In the past 6 months I've gained 20 pounds and I'm sick about it. I exercise and eat healthy for the most part and don't really know what's going on with my body. I am only a few pounds lighter than what I am when I deliver a baby! I did turn 30 this year, but c'mon, I didn't go through menopause or anything. I refuse to try any of my jeans on and rarely get out of jammies or sweats. I'm miserable, ashamed, and want to hide under a rock. I exercise 4-5 days a week and eat healthy. I truly feel like my body is betraying me and that I'm not myself. I don't ever expect to be a size 2 and feel like I have reasonable and modest goals. I refuse to do any extreme dieting, and approach diet and exercise in a very healthy way.
I will only do a plan that I can see myself doing ten years down the line ( Weight Watchers is what I love!). I just don't know why it's not working. I know people look at me and probably think I pig out, and I just don't. I can't even bring myself to go Cali to visit for Halloween because of this. I feel like who I am and what people perceive "Holly" to be isn't who I am right now. I feel like a failure and out of control of my body. I am working with a couple doctors and trying to figure this out. But they even have conflicting opinions on what is going on. I feel lost
and embarrassed and don't know what to do! And on top of that one doctor thinks I have a heart murmur. How that even matters or factors in...I have no clue.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Much Needed Update

I knew when my sister Beth left, my blogging would slow. Jared is in busy season and I'm basically single-momming it lately. My life is an exhausting blur. So here are pics to update everyone :).....

These 2 pictures are of Rylie being silly. It was 10:00p.m. and all the other kids were in bed. She wouldn't go down, but we had some fun one on one time. Here she took all my bed pillows and hid in them. Then she would pop out and say "cheese" to the camera. What a ham!!!

On labor day we went to Makutu's Island and had a blast! It's an indoor playground with slides and climbing stuff. Way Cool! This is Skyler on a slide.

Madelyn and Carson near a tree slide.

Rylie climbing.

Mommy and Rylie by an aquarium.

Madelyn and Carson near a climbing tunnel.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Miscellaneous Update

Madelyn is obsessed with Webkins! Ma is visiting and surprised Madelyn with them in her bed with this note. She loved it!!!

Daddy helping Rylie play Basketball.

Rylie approaching the basket....

While I was looking in a costume box, Rylie found this and refused to take it off. She loves to dress up.

Skyler bowling at a Birthday party.

Madelyn at the party.

Carson showing Skyler how it's done!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Rylie and Skyler

Rylie is such a goofy girl! Beth made her this felt skirt a week ago and she has to wear it every day. Sometimes it's a skirt, a hat, a jacket, whatever she feels like making it that day. And in this picture I told her to stand and say cheese, and she moved to the wall, turned around, smiled, and said, "deez."

Skyler is a kid who still needs a nap, but mommy would rather him go to bed early. So needless to say, he ends up falling asleep at the weirdest times and in the weirdest places. Here he was eating lunch and got really quiet. We looked at him, and for five minutes he ate grapes with his eyes closed. Finally he gave it up and crashed on the kitchen table. Maybe he will be like his grandpa, who is famous for falling asleep mid-sentence! Narcolepsy, anyone?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Indoor Camp Out

The kids had a camp out in the playroom last night with Auntie Beth. They "roasted marshmallows", did mad libs, and even wrote letters home. They set up a Spiderman tent and made s'mores. Madelyn especially got into it and put up signs everywhere, like "Don't feed the bears!". Below I posted our favorite sign Madelyn did, which I also typed under it.


This letter will talk about the wonders around you. There will be good wonders and bad wonders. Good wonders are for the ones that get scared. If you get scared camp around the good wonders. Signs of good wonders are, rabbits, daisys, and life everywhere. Bad wonders are for ones who are adventurouos. If you aren't scared of anything camp near the bad wonders. Signs of bad wonders are, bears, venius fly traps, and death everywhere you step. Thats all the info you need to know about the woods. Good luck camping!

Park Ranger
(Paper torn at the bottom and is noted as a "bear claw tear")

Monday, August 11, 2008

Back to school

Yes, it's already here! School is back and I'm the rare mother who is majorly bummed out. We had a great and relaxing summer with almost no boredom or fighting. The 2 little kids are also so much better with Madelyn and Carson here. I hate the commute and all the homework (I feel like I'm back in school again). Oh well...Here are Madelyn and Carson ready on their first day. Madelyn started fourth grade and Carson started second. They got awesome teachers and had a good day. And Auntie Beth surprised them and made these cool cupcakes for them to eat when they got home. Let the fun that is school begin......