Sunday, December 28, 2008

Auntie Chanel's Wedding

Jared's sister Chanel got married December 27th in the L.A. temple. The whole Frost Family was there and our kids were part of the wedding party. It was beautiful and a lot of fun to be together. Here are some of the highlights!

Madelyn and her cousin Layne from Colorado. Those girls love each other!

Jared, Holly, Madelyn, Carson, Skyler, and a happy Rylie at the temple.

All the kids in their wedding attire.

The bride and groom and newly Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Bennett.

Madelyn dancing with her new uncle, Nathan.

Christmas: Round Two!

Rylie fell asleep after church in her Christmas Dress. We thought this pic was cute cuz every time Jared went to take off her sweater she smiled huge.

Here are pictures of Christmas at my mom's house in Cali. The kids had a blast and Santa even found us there.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas: round one!

This morning we opened our Christmas presents at our house. Tomorrow after church we are going to California to spend Christmas day there and didn't want to lug any extra stuff. Needless to say the kids weren't complaining at all. We typically like to stay home for Christmas day and go to Cali afterwards, but Jared's sister is getting married the 27th so we are going for that anyways.

Bedtime Books and Slippers

Recently we went to a school activity called Bedtime Books and Slippers. We all wore our jammies, ate treats, and watched a local author sing and do a little show. Below are pics of the kids, and also a pic of the teachers in a rap skit.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Sooo interesting...

Anyone who is home today should watch Oprah. It is about OCD and the crazy therapy I eventually should do. The problem is that the only doctor my psychiatrist knows of that performs "exposure therapy" recently died. Very interesting stuff!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Upon further reflection...

Scratch my idea of becoming rich. I am petitioning my mom and one or both of my younger sisters to buy a house nearby (the buyer's market is awesome right now!) and take my babies one day a week, thus freeing more time for 1 intense day of crazy and 6 less frenzied days. It would be great! The grandkids could have sleep overs, while I could power work and sprinkle in a little "me" time. And there is no telling the wonders it could do for Jared and I! Maybe i will sweeten the deal and throw in another grandkid so everyone wins! I can't see any losers here...I just know that the happiest and most relaxed i feel is when they are around cuz they truly get me, adore my kids, and lighten my load. I guess i will come back to reality now....

My own worst enemy

I sat awake in my bed a long time last night and couldn't quiet my mind. I've had OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) since I can remember. I've only been diagnosed and on meds
for about 6 years, but was always uptight and "organized" as a kid. Lately I feel like it's eating me alive! I can't distinguish where Holly starts and OCD ends. I'm on high doses of medication for it (update: the meds WERE what caused me to gain weight. People gain a lot of weight on doses that were only 1/10 of what i was taking. Recently my doctor switched my meds, so fingers crossed that it works. This weight drama has been so long that it seems impossible that i will ever lose it again. still dieting and exercising though...) Anyways...I kind of had a break down last night and definitely feel like I'm suffocating. The older I get and busier life gets, my OCD gets worse. The meds definitely help take the edge off of my anxiety, but lately i feel alone and a little crazy. My mind is tired, my heart is tired, and my body is tired. And I'm only 30!!! I just don't know how else to be. OCD is a huge part of who I am: my decorations are up perfectly, my house is constantly spotless, my kids are well behaved and never dirty, laundry and bath schedules are never derailed, and I always have at least 3 lists that I am a slave to constantly. Exhausted yet?! If i don't live this way I am depressed and feel useless and worthless. It effects everything! I don't have friends...What I mean by that is life passes me by.
I don't hang out or do anything fun. It just takes my productive time away (after this post i realize that i sound like a downer anyways...not high on the list of friend must-haves). Sleep is almost non-existent, maybe 5 hours on a good night. I'm a grouchy ,on edge mom that lives with the guilt of stealing fun and spontaneous moments away from my kids. Luckily Jared is a saint (mostly) and we have a happy marriage, but i know the crazier i get the harder it is on him. I just know that some day when I'm gone all my anal diligence won't matter, but will amount to a huge amount of wasted my funeral: "Wow our mom was the best! Never were our fingernails left long and jagged. She had it all together!"...Not happening...It even effects my church attendance because I go non-stop for 6 days without much sleep and then by Sunday my body is maxed out and i get sick. Basically I'm a hot mess :). I know i need to lean on the lord more, but beyond that, I'm really stuck. Then i feel bad burdening all my peeps out there with many of these intense blogs, but that's how i roll. The negative and incessant worrying comes withe territory of OCD. Sometimes i think i just need to get rich like Madonna so i can pay people to worry and focus solely on enjoying my life and family. One can dream!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Yet another much needed update!!!

I know I suck. It's been a long time. I have too many kids and too little time. A lot has happened...we decorated our Christmas tree, had an excellent Thanksgiving feast, and took an unexpected trip to Cali. My grandma passed away and we had to make the quick trip to southern California. She is the first close relative I have had pass away. It was a little sad, but also faith-building.

We decided to extend out trip and spend a day at Disneyland with the three older kids. We had a ton of fun, but missed Rylie. (Grandma watched her.)

Here are some pix to enjoy. I will try to be better at updating.

This is the kids decorating the Christmas tree for Family Home Evening, a family favorite!

Our Thanksgiving table...I felt sassy and got out our fine china and goblets (only 2 sets). We also made corn cob poppers and turkey tea lights. So fun!

Some of our yummy food spread.

One of the turkey tealights...adorable!

Post holiday trip to Disneyland. This is the kids by the new Toy Story ride.

Madelyn and Carson shooting up the ride.

Madelyn, Carson, and Skyler after a long and successful Disneyland day! It's great to be a kid!